Perils of Cape Town

Perils of Cape Town
● The weather
Be warned, winter in cape town is weird. You wake up in Green Point. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, dolphins and seals frolic in the gentle sea. Then you drive to Kirstenbosch where your spaghetti strap top is soaked in seconds. Next on the itinerary: Table Mountain, where the icy wind threatens to tear your hair from your head. Clouds follow you back to Green Point but the sun comes out just as you zip up that sheepskin jacket.
● Furry rogues
Watch Out! The company gardens are populated by rogue bands of fearless criminals with complete disregard for authority despite the CCTV cameras. They operate with stealth and pounce before you even know they’re there. The only view you’ll get of them will be their bushy tails as the scamper away, bounty in hand. Now where did I put that sandwich?
● Say What?
Even other South Africans can’t understand Capetonians: we have a peculiar way of speaking that involves lots of pensive pauses and vacant stares into the middle distance. It’s not that we’re ignoring you, we’re just looking at the mountain and thinking of the last perfect wave or the best place to watch this evening’s sunset – while you babble on about the Nikkei and Footsie 100
● Your bill, Sir
Waiters in Cape Town are students, models or lazy. Or model lazy students. Which makes paying for a meal quite a challenge. When asking for the bill, the average waiter will turn, look past you and flick his fringe. Walking up to them and jabbing your finger into their backs helps, but you should still be ready for a lengthy wait.